


Heal

by tinkabelle19



Category: TMNT (2007)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Familial Abuse, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 19:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19818556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkabelle19/pseuds/tinkabelle19
Summary: "I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become." - Carl Gustav Jung





	Heal

**Author's Note:**

> I chose to trust my tired self, so the first chapter has recently been edited. I hope that you enjoy this version, and don't forget to leave a kudos or comment...or both! Thank you!

Hauling her suitcase behind her Valerie shuffled past the threshold of her new home. She had been crashing with her best friend for the last few days until she was able to retrieve the keys. There was no way she was going to wait back home… with her mother.

Valerie closed and locked the door behind her, put her suitcase aside and glanced around the room. The apartment was tiny. She could probably fit a two-seater couch against the living room wall and maybe a small television unit on the other side, with just enough room for her to squeeze between them. A small breakfast counter separated the kitchen and living room. She could fit one – maybe two – stools at the said breakfast counter. Valerie made her way into the middle of the cramped kitchen to take in the rest of the space. She had a two-burner stovetop, a small oven, minimal storage space and just enough room to fit a very narrow refrigerator.  
She screwed up her nose in disgust; there was an unpleasant smell lingering in the air yet he couldn’t quite put her finger on it. As Valerie hurried toward the living room window to open it, she noticed that most of the white wall paint had been stained an awful yellow colour – one of the last tenants must have smoked inside. _Gross_. She made a mental note to try and clean that later.

Growing agitated, Valerie forced herself to focus on the positives. She finally had her safe space, away from her mother’s house – and it was all hers. She now had the freedom to do whatever the hell she wanted. At 22-years-old she finally became an independent woman. Before she could let herself feel embarrassed by this, Valerie forced herself to smile.

_Better late than ever_ , she reminded herself.

The brunette peered outside the window to fill her lungs with some fresh air. The crisp evening breeze was gentle against her skin and she closed her eyes for a moment to enjoy the small pleasure. She allowed herself to think about all the food she was going to buy, and all the meals she was going to cook in her own kitchen. She also thought about the music she would play on her own speaker system, not having a care in the world about what other people had to say about her unorthodox taste. She felt herself grow excited about these thoughts; it warmed her heart and brought a genuine smile to her face. Then she remembered the chain of events that brought her here, and the moment was promptly ruined.

Bringing her head back inside Valerie let out a defeated sigh, and wrapped her arms around her body. She slowly wandered about the remainder of the apartment. She had intended on inspecting all four rooms to determine whether anything else needed fixing (most likely), but her mind was elsewhere.

_It didn’t have to be like this, but you gave me no choice, mom. You pushed me too far this time, now you’ve lost me forever._

Valerie made a point of not telling her mom where he lived, afraid that she might show up at her door and invade her safe space. She was already blowing up her phone with calls and texts. Despite Valerie’s better judgement, she’d opened up and read some of those texts. Her mom always had a way of hitting where it hurt the most. Until now it had always just been verbal jabs and the occasional cold shoulder that would go on for days. But the moment her mom made it physical was the day Valerie decided to that enough was enough – that was three days ago.

Valerie felt her phone hum in her pocket, and her heart filled with dread. “For fuck’s sake, mom.” She groaned. Pulling out her phone to check, she found that it wasn’t her mother (this time) but her best friend Molly.

_[Let me know if you need anything. We’ll be over tomorrow morning to give you a hand. Xx]_

A small smile pulled at Valerie’s lips. Molly and her boyfriend Andrew have been amazing support the last few days, allowing her to borrow their spare bedroom while she waited to receive the keys for her apartment. Valerie could have stayed over again so she didn’t have to sleep on the floor, but she just wanted to be alone tonight. They’ll be around again tomorrow anyway to help fill said apartment so it becomes liveable. The only possessions Valerie had brought with her were the clothes on her back, extra clothing, her laptop, a sleeping bag, a towel, and toiletries. She decided to leave what was left at her mother’s house – it just wasn’t worth going back there to retrieve any of it. She had saved what earnings she could from her job so she had just enough to get herself started. Hopefully.

_[Thanks, Mol. I really appreciate it. See you guys tomorrow. Xx]_

After sending the reply text Valerie placed her phone down on the kitchen counter and sighed, rubbing the fatigue from her face with her hands. She was so emotionally drained that she felt she could sleep forever. Deciding that perhaps a hot shower would help clear her muddled mind, Valerie shuffled toward her suitcase and carefully tipped it over so she could unzip it. She retrieved her toiletry bag, her towel, a fresh set of underwear and pyjamas.

_Hopefully, the gas has already been turned on. It should be._

The bathroom was situated between the kitchen and her bedroom. Given the close proximity of both the bathroom and bedroom doors, she guessed that the bathroom was going to be cramped also. She was so deep in thought beforehand that she paid no attention to its size while she was in there.

_Never mind,_ she thought. _It’s all mine._

Pushing open the door and switching on the light, Valerie stepped into the bathroom. Immediately to her right were the sink and a small medicine cabinet with a mirror above it. There was just enough space on the sink for handwash and a toothbrush holder. She then turned to face the end of the bathroom: there was a shower to her left, with a metal towel rack next to it. Valerie stepped forward so she could close the door – there was the toilet.  
Placing her clothes over the sink and towel on the rack Valerie opened the shower door and turned on the hot tap, holding her hand under the water to gage the temperature. Cold water ran for quite a while before it began to heat up, but Valerie was just relieved that she had managed to set up the utilities properly.

She had showered for less than five minutes when the hot water began to run cold, and she cursed under her breath. _It’s fine,_ she repeated her mantra. _No big deal._  
The brunette grabbed her towel and dried off, being careful not to slip on the puddle of water she had made stepping out of the shower. After changing into her pyjama pants and top she headed to her suitcase once more, placing her dirty laundry in a plastic bag and retrieving her sleeping bag.

Just then her phone began to ring. Valerie hurried over to check the caller ID – it was her mother. Glaring at her mother’s contact picture she denied the call, discovering then that she had tried to get a hold of her twice prior while she was in the shower. Valerie groaned in frustration.

_[I can’t do this today, mom. Please, leave me alone.]_

After sending the quick text she put her phone on silent, bracing herself for the barrage of abusive messages and incessant calls she was about to receive for the next 24 hours. As if she wasn’t already getting them. But this was the first time in three days she had responded to her mother, and it was to demand space. That wasn’t going to go down well with her mother, she knew it. But now Valerie felt safe doing so, comforted by the fact that she had no idea where she lived. She was going to have to face her at some point for the sake of her siblings, but that wasn’t going to be anytime soon.

It was 8:30pm, and despite not having work tomorrow Valerie decided to call it a night. She had an entire day of furniture and white goods shopping awaiting her anyway, and knowing Molly she would probably beat down her door at 7 in the morning. After moving her suitcase and sleeping bag into her bedroom she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and then went to bed.

As she lay silent in her sleeping bag Valerie watched as her phone illuminated, notifying her of the messages and missed calls she was currently receiving from her mother. She counted two missed calls and five text messages before the bedroom finally went dark. Biting back tears, she turned her phone over so the screen faced the carpet, and rolled over. Valerie cried herself to sleep that night.

Valerie awoke before dawn, neck stiff and head throbbing from last night’s tears. She felt desperate for some water and a couple of paracetamol tablets right then. Dragging herself out of her sleeping bag she headed to the bathroom, using the tap get a few gulps of water, before splashing some on her face. She looked at herself in the mirror; she had dark bags underneath her eyes and her now soaked bangs stuck to her forehead.

She shook out her hair and pushed some behind her ears, then straightened out her bangs. She felt her stomach rumble. She could really go for some eggs and bacon right now; perhaps even a mocha as well. _Let’s do it._ There was a cute little café not too far from her apartment – she will have breakfast there.

Changing out of her pyjamas Valerie grabbed her phone and keys and headed out the door.

It was freezing outside this time of day at… 7 in the morning. Valerie buried her chin into her scarf and pulled her jacket tighter around herself. She should probably let Molly know where she was, just in case she was already at her door. She pulled her phone from her pocket and, with numb fingers, began to text.

_[Just getting breakfast, in case you…]_

“Hey, you!”

Speak of the devil. Valerie looked up from her phone and spotted her best friend, who was just about to enter the café herself.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Valerie laughed, shoving her phone back into her pocket and wrapping Molly up in a tight hug. Realising that they were in the way of the entrance the girls shuffled aside, refusing to leave the embrace.

“How’d you go sleeping on the floor?” Molly asked, amused.

“Shit,” Valerie answered bluntly, her face buried in Molly’s jacket. “You’re supposed to slap me whenever I come up with stupid shit like that.” Yes, she said that she wanted to be alone last night. She thought that that was what she wanted, but when she was finally alone she regretted it immensely. As she laid there in her empty bedroom, too exhausted and distressed to sleep, there was nothing she wanted more than a hug. So, while she was wrapped up in her best friend’s arms, Valerie made sure to savour every second of it.

“Aww,” Molly hugged her tighter. “I promise I’ll do it next time.”

“Thank you.”

After a few more moments the two reluctantly broke away. With tears brimming in her eyes, Valerie took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She was not going to be crying today. Today was a good day.

“So, breakfast?” Molly offered, grinning ear to ear. “I need food like, right now.”

“Yes, please.” Valerie nodded, trying her best to smile.

Hooking arms, the girls sauntered into the café. The smell of coffee and bacon filled their nostrils immediately, and their mouths started watering. They were ushered to their seats and given menus. Their meals were brought out to them pretty quickly, as the café didn’t seem too busy this morning.

“So, has Andrew gone to get the van already?” Valerie asked as she sipped her mocha. She had hired a small moving van for the day, so they could transport all her furniture home.

Molly shoved a fork-full of eggs and toast into her mouth. “Well, he is the only one of the three of us who has a driver’s licence – so, yes.”

Valerie frowned. “He didn’t have to do that,” She protested. “I said I’d go with him.”

“Don’t worry, Val. He has it all under control. Now, eat your muffin.”

“Yes, mom.”

Speaking of moms, Valerie’s phone was buzzing again. Molly eyed her friend as she pulled her phone from her pocket and checked her messages. She frowned when Valerie’s face fell, and reached over the table to yank the phone from her hands. “I’ll take that.”

"Hey!"

“I’m cutting you off.” Molly shoved the phone in her pocket. “The shit she’s been sending isn’t doing you any good.”

She and Valerie had been friends since the beginning of high school, so she knew her mother, Nicole, quite well – she wasn’t a fan. Of course, Nicole always was on her best behaviour while visitors were around, but she has watched Valerie break down over her more times than she dared to mention. Nicole, being a single mother, relied on her eldest daughter to help around the house – that, Molly could understand. But she relied on Valerie to do a lot more than just chores. She was the shoulder she cried on whenever relationships went sour, the person who helped regulate her emotions and check her impulses, and the person who pulled her from the edge time and time again. Outside looking in, Molly felt that Valerie was more of a mother than her own mother; and her best friend had finally cracked under the pressure.

Molly will never forget the night Valerie turned up at her doorstep, with tearstained cheeks and suitcase in hand. She had called earlier that night, hysterical; she said that Nicole had thrown a panel heater at her. Thankfully, it missed, but it left a gaping hole in her bedroom wall. Nicole had never gotten physical with Valerie before then, and it was over the most ridiculous thing – a packet of cigarettes. To lose a child over something so trivial…

Valerie heaved a sigh, defeated. “I know it isn’t.” She said, her voice quiet.

“Then why do you keep looking at them?”

“I don’t know.”

“Block her number, then.”

“I can’t do that, Mol.” Valerie objected. “What if Liv and Noah need to contact me?” Liv, short for Olivia, and Noah were Valerie’s younger siblings. They weren’t at home during the incident, thank god. Valerie had yet to tell them why their older sister was no longer living with them. Unless her mother had already beaten her to it, albeit with her own twist to the story. 

“They have their own phones, don’t they?” Molly offered. “You need to look after yourself now.”

She watched as Valerie made herself smaller in her seat, her head down and fingers knotted together, unable to meet her friend’s gaze. She knew she was right, and Valerie knew it too, yet she couldn’t bring herself to admit it aloud. Sensing Valerie’s internal struggle Molly reached over the table to grasp her hand.

“Hey,” her voice was gentle as she squeezed Valerie’s hand. Her friend turned to face her, with tears threatening to fall. Molly smiled warmly. “It’ll be okay.” She reassured her. Valerie sniffled and smiled back, wiping the tears from her face with her jacket sleeve.

One of the phones in Molly’s pocket began to ring, and Valerie let out a wearied chuckle. “Is it yours or mine?”

Molly laughed gently. “It’s nice to know that your sense of humour is still intact.”

Reaching for both phones, Molly found that her boyfriend, Andrew, was attempting to call her. She answered the phone. “Hey, babe. How’s it going?”

_“Good, babe,”_ Andrew replied. _“Just driving to Val’s apartment now.”_

“Thank you!” Valerie called from across the table.

“He said _no worries,_ ” Molly answered. “Okay, we’ll see you there. Want us to bring you breakfast?”

_“You’re asking me if I want food?”_

“Yeah, okay. Stupid question. We’ll see you in a bit. Love you, bye.”

The girls gathered their things and made their way to the front counter to pay, ordering Andrew’s bacon and egg muffin to go. Valerie insisted on paying but was met with resistance. After two minutes of bickering, she gave up and firmly declared that she would be shouting them lunch, as a thank you. Her friend reluctantly agreed. Another five minutes and they were out of the café, heading towards Valerie’s apartment complex. As they rounded the corner into the parking lot they were greeted by a small moving van and a heavily tattooed young man leaning against the driver’s side door.

“Good morning.” He called as they approached him. Molly gave him a quick peck on the cheek in response, before handing him his muffin. He took it gratefully. “You’re a legend. Thanks, babe.”

“Hey, thanks for doing this,” Valerie said, giving Andrew a friendly hug. “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s all good.” He replied, returning the embrace. “You called for help – we answered.”

As Andrew ate his breakfast, Valerie proposed they look for a refrigerator first. “I know a place close to here, and it’s relatively cheap. A fridge is one of the things I need the most. I can wait for a TV.”

“Of course.” Molly agreed, smirking. “Food definitely takes precedence over _Netflix and chill._ ”

Valerie rolled her eyes. “You’re _hilarious_. Truly.” Molly winked at her.

A few minutes passed by before they all squeezed into the van and headed out. It was a Saturday so the streets weren’t too packed. As planned, they started with Valerie’s fridge; she was able to find a fridge-freezer just narrow enough to fit into the designated space in her kitchen. 500 dollars gone. Now, off to find a bed frame and mattress.  
Once there, Valerie and Molly perused the aisles while Andrew lingered behind, scrolling through social media on his phone. After about thirty minutes of browsing, Valerie picked out a steel frame base and a twin mattress, a blanket and pillows, and a pair of stools for the breakfast bar. She decided to spoil herself a little and picked out a nice ombre blanket and pillow cover set and paired it with white sheets. 800 dollars gone.

Valerie took out her phone (Molly had returned it when they left the café) and checked her account balance. Her face fell immediately. _Oh boy;_ she only had about 80 dollars left for the next 5 days. _Where did it all go? Shit, that’s right – the van rental and down payment for the apartment._

Growing anxious, she started fumbling through her purchases to see what she could return for some extra money. She wasn’t sharing her bed with anyone else so she could return the second pillow. Maybe she could replace the cover set for a cheaper one, or get rid of one of the stools? Her thoughts were going a million miles an hour.

_I really underestimated how much all of this was going to cost…I only have enough for maybe a cheap dinner set and some food for the week…I still need pots and pans… I said I’d take them to lunch! Um…okay. Think, Val. Think!_

Turning on her heel, Valerie pushed the cart of purchases back towards the furniture store. “I’ll be right back.” She said quickly, hoping that her entourage wouldn’t catch on. They did.

“Did you forget something?” Molly called out to her, concerned.

“I’m um…” Anxiety setting in now, Valerie started stumbling over her words. “I’ve gotta um…put some things away.”

“Why’s that?”

She was becoming flustered now. Confrontations weren’t her strong suit; she just wanted to return the items in peace. She didn’t reply.

“Hey! Wait a minute.” Molly quickly caught up to her friend and stood in her way. “What’s this about?”

Valerie shot her a pleading look. “I really don’t need all of this stuff right now.”

“As much as I admire your frugality, Val, you need all of this stuff right now.” Molly reasoned. “Now, turn that cart around and put it all in the van – you’re taking it home.”

“Please, Mol,” Valerie argued. “I said I’d buy you guys lunch, and I don’t have enough to do that right now.”

“Is that what this is about?” Molly asked, being careful not to insult her friend’s sensitivities.

Valerie looked away from her, embarrassed. After taking out most of her pay each week for board, food and whatever else her mom needed at the time left very little for Valerie to treat her friends, let alone herself. She went without for almost a year saving as much as she could to finally move out. Molly treated her to breakfast, and she promised to return the favour. She felt like a terrible friend.

“Don’t worry about it, Val,” Andrew told her.

“Andrew’s right.” Molly agreed. “When you’re in a better financial situation then you can take us to lunch. Better yet, you can invite us over for a nice homecooked meal.”

Valerie turned to her and smiled feebly. “Okay, that sounds good.” She then let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry that I’m such a mess; today was supposed to be a good day.”

“Don’t apologise. Seriously.” Molly said gently. “You’re allowed to feel like a mess; a lot has happened lately.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

After heading to another store to grab a few more necessities the three returned to Valerie’s apartment. They were grateful for elevators that day as they had to haul the purchases to the highest level of the 6-storey building. It had taken them 5 trips and over an hour to bring everything up to the apartment. The girls got started on unpacking boxes while Andrew left to return the van. They had all worked up an appetite by the end of it. It was lunchtime anyway, thank goodness.

“I’m gonna head out and grab us some sandwiches.” Molly declared, grabbing her bag. She and Valerie were unpacking the kitchen while Andrew set up the bed base; there were a lot of parts and unhelpful instructions.

Valerie looked up from the box of glasses she was currently unpacking. “Okay.” She said quietly. She still wasn’t comfortable with letting her friend pay for her meal twice in a row, but they had already come to an agreement on it and she must accept that.

“What would you like?”

“I don’t mind. I’ll just have whatever you're having.”

“Okay then. Andrew?”

“ _Fuck me-_ yeah?” It seemed as though Andrew was having a spot of bother putting the bed together. The girls had a laugh at his expense.

“Later, perhaps,” Molly teased. “What do you want on your sandwich?”

“I’ll text it to you.”

“Sounds good. Okay, I’ll be back in a bit.”

Valerie’s mom hadn’t made any more attempts to contact her since this morning, and she was unsure about how she felt about it. In her heart, she was relieved, but her anxiety insisted on injecting distressing thoughts into her mind.

_Is she being safe? What if I’ve pushed her over the edge? What if she’s up and abandoned Liv and Noah? Oh God, shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP!_

“You’re quiet,” Andrew called from the bedroom, and Valerie snapped out of her reverie. It quickly dawned on her that she had not moved or said a word for about five minutes, and she glanced about the room to recollect her surroundings.

“Uh…yeah, sorry.” She replied quickly as she returned to her task.

After a moment or two of silence, Andrew called out again. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine, Andrew. Really.” Valerie insisted. The brunette sighed sadly and pursed her lips. Deep down she knew she wasn't, but she wasn't about to make today more about her. 

“Okay then.”

The two continued on quietly until Molly returned, lunch in hand. Valerie gratefully took her sandwich, perched herself atop the kitchen counter and proceeded to dig in. Molly joined her, while Andrew leaned against a wall a few feet away. They had made a fair amount of progress with the apartment; Andrew had finally managed to put the bed frame together and positioned the mattress atop it. He left the linen to Valerie. The refrigerator had been plugged in and was now cold, and the rest of the kitchen had been completely unpacked. Boxes piled up where the television unit would eventually be when Valerie was able to pool enough money together. For the moment she didn’t mind; what she had was enough.

Once her friends had said their goodbyes and left Valerie bagged their rubbish and set it aside, before pulling out her phone to call her sister. She immediately shushed her as she began to squeal her name, and demanded that she go somewhere quiet so they can speak privately.

_“Where are you?”_ Olivia asked, her voice low. _“You’ve been gone for ages!”_

“I’ve moved out, Liv,” Valerie answered, with a heavy heart. “I have my own place now.”

_“Oh…okay.”_

Guilt gripped Valerie as an uncomfortable silence loomed over their conversation. The last thing she wanted was to leave her siblings alone, but she was afraid that if she remained under the same roof as her mother then she would be digging herself a hole that she would never be able to crawl out of. That was definitely not a risk she was willing to take.

“You can always come and visit me.” Valerie offered gently.

Olivia heaved a disappointed sigh in response. _“Yeah, but you won’t be here.”_

“Liv, I’m an adult now. I can’t be living at home forever; I need my own space.”

_“I get that. I just wish you were here, that’s all.”_

The older sister grew concerned. “Is everything okay?” She probed. “How’s Noah?”

_“He’s fine.”_

“And mom? Has she said anything to you about me?”

_“She hasn’t really said much of anything, to be honest.”_

Valerie tensed as dread washed over her features. A quiet mom is a volatile mom. “What has she been doing?” She asked slowly, bracing herself for her younger sister’s answer.

_“She’s just been in her bedroom,”_ Olivia replied. _“She hasn’t been talking to us all that much, either.”_

_That’s not good. That’s not good at all._ Valerie took a deep, shaky breath to help calm her nerves. “Okay…” She drew out, wracking her brain for something to say that wasn’t going to scare the poor girl. She was desperate to keep her sister out of her mother’s business – _she was thirteen, for fuck’s sake_ – but it would be difficult to do so from the other side of the city. The older sister rubbed her forehead as she fought to keep her anxiety at bay.

“Okay, Liv-“ She began, her voice clear and firm. “You need to promise me that if anything happens you will call me first, okay?”

_“Okay…I promise.”_ Olivia complied, but Valerie could hear the fear growing larger in her voice. _So much for not scaring her, you idiot._

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” The older sister spoke softly now. “You know that I’ll always be here for you and Noah, yeah?”

_“I know,”_ Olivia replied quietly. _“I miss you.”_

_Oof._ A shot to the heart.

“I miss you too. You’ll have to come and visit me once I’ve got the apartment looking all nice.”

Upon hearing this, her little sister seemed to perk up a little. _“I can’t wait.”_

_“Liv, who’s that on the phone?”_

Valerie bristled when she heard her mother’s voice on the other line, and vivid memories from that fateful day began to invade her thoughts.

**xxx**

Her mother loomed over her, eyes blazing, screaming as her frightened daughter cowered before her. Valerie could remember every single word that escaped her mother's lips. Every curse. Every insult. _Everything_. Then, when she began to believe that the situation couldn't possibly get any worse, her mother grabbed the first thing that stood in her way and launched it into the air, straight towards her. Valerie yelped in terror, jumping out of the way as the panel heater flew past, ricocheting off the wall and hitting the ground with a thud.

Her mother disappeared into her bedroom, slamming the door. Valerie stood there in shock, her cheeks wet with tears. She couldn't help but wonder whether her mother would have reacted differently if she had just given her the money. Why hadn't she just given her the money? 

_Selfish._ That word had been burned into her memory, and it made her feel dirty. _You're a selfish bitch._ The brunette blinked as more tears fell. She no longer felt safe here. What her mother had done...it was the final straw that broke the camel's back. She knew that if she was going to leave then she would have to do it now. 

Retrieving her suitcase, Valerie tearfully packed what she could and hurried out the door. She wasn't about to wait around for her mother to reemerge. 

**xxx**

_"Is that Valerie?"_

_"No, mom!"_

“I have to go, Liv.” She pleaded, but her little sister didn't respond; she could hear her arguing with their mother.

_" Just a minute!"_

_"Give me the phone, Olivia!"_

Valerie could hear her mom's voice growing closer. _I'm not ready for this,_ she panicked. The brunette scrambled to end the call, tossing her phone away as if it were a giant spider she found creeping up her arm. She braced herself against the kitchen counter as she struggled to regain her composure. She groaned angrily, cursing herself for being so afraid. 

_What is this?! Pull yourself together, Valerie!_

Without thinking, the brunette balled her fist and brought it down onto the counter, hard. She hissed as pain immediately shot through her hand, and she pulled it against her chest in an attempt to nurse it. She cursed herself again.

_What is wrong with you?!_

Valerie exhaled shakily as tears threatened to fall.

_This was supposed to be a good day._

She slumped against the wall behind her, allowing herself to slide to the floor as her silent cries quickly turned into hopeless sobbing. She buried her face in her arms, watching blurry-eyed as hot tears soaked into the fabric of her jeans.  
Valerie sat there for what felt like hours with her nose blocked, face puffy, head throbbing and jeans soaked with tears. She had finally managed to bring herself down from that devastating wave of emotions, but she still needed a minute to compose herself.

_It’s okay,_ she repeated her mantra.

Valerie sluggishly pulled herself up off the floor, wiping her eyes and taking a deep breath. She gazed about the room, weary-eyed. She forced a smile upon her dry lips, silently hoping that if she did it enough it would eventually become genuine.

_It’ll be okay._

This was her safe place; nobody could harm her here.

_You’ll be okay, Valerie._


End file.
